Temperaments and Dating: How Temperaments Determine the Success of a Relationship

Published: 02nd November 2009
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Temperaments and Dating: How Temperaments Determine the Success of a Relationship

At its most basic, a temperament is a personality trait that determines how one sees and deals with the world. For example: A person with a sanguine temperament type will be optimistic and always see the glass half full, whereas a person with a melancholic personality will always see the glass half empty and will tend to be a bit pessimistic in most situations.

Temperaments are very important when it comes to relationships because they determine how the couple will deal with each other. Compatible temperaments mean that there will be less strife and fewer disagreements. Extremely competitive temperaments may result in feelings of resentment and being misunderstood.

The truth is that temperaments come into play during almost every aspect of daily life. Take dinner plans for instance. The phlegmatic person is very laid back, doesn't talk a lot and avoids social situations for the most part. A sanguine person, on the other hand, loves to socialize. If the sanguine approaches the phlegmatic with plans to go out, he or she will likely be excited only to feel let down when they are confronted with the resistance and unenthusiastic response of their partner.

As you can imagine, the let down partner may feel misunderstood. They may even begin to wonder if their mate really cares about their feelings. This is especially true if they have a very analytical temperament. They may tend to analyze the situation overmuch and may become resentful if they can't find a logical explanation for their partner's indifference. This could cause the offended person to become grouchy and combative. They may even lash out leaving their partner feeling like they have been ambushed for no reason that is apparent to them.

Compatible temperaments, on the other hand, usually compliment each other quite well. Each person understands how the other person will react to certain situations and controls their own responses and reactions in order to bring out the best in their mate. Being able to peacefully coexist and solve problems easily makes each person feel understood and loved. This fosters closeness and trust.

But even if you find that you and your spouse are not perfectly matched temperament wise, you do not have to give up the idea of living harmoniously together. There are things that you can do in order to get along better. First and foremost, you need to try to understand your spouse's temperament type and learn why they do the things they do. If you have a basic understanding of why they do not share your enthusiasm, you will not be so hard on them when you don't get the reaction you planned for.

And don't forget communication! Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Never hold in your emotions or try to guess what your partner is feeling. If you feel slighted, talk it out. Chances are that your partner did not even know that they offended you and will be willing to talk it out and make it up to you.

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